In 2016, Apple removed the headphone jack from their iPhones, and hundreds of thousands of pairs of Skullcandy earbuds cried out in horror. Concurrently, Apple released Airpods, their wireless solution to the 'problem' they had intentionally created (for a tidy $160 sum, of course.) They looked ridiculous, quite literally as if the wires were cut from the existing stock headphones, which Apple so politely included. Naturally, I swore that I would never touch the product, and used a third-party adapter for my over-ear Audio-Technica headphones and its six-foot-long cable. The sound would randomly cut out and pause, randomly come out through the phone speakers instead, and would be accompanied by a low hum if I chose to charge my phone while listening. It didn't matter though. As long as I had my wires, even if my emails still included 'Sent from my iPhone', I wasn't one of them that fell for it.
While I lived in SoHo for years, I'm not so sure that's what one would call 'living in New York'. It was more of a New York themed Yuppieland. During the time I lived there, the number of juice bars in a three-block radius went from one to eight. After Airpods released, in that area, they proliferated just as quickly. I'd walk to classes at NYU with my stock wired headphones, and as I turned the corner and went past the library, 'Pods-itively 4th Street' would start playing as the sea of white came into view. Also, everyone was wearing Airpods. My wires and I remained stoic through the tangles and the discomfort. It was a pointless struggle, and 'The Wire' was already taken as a show title, but I would rather die on Headphone Hill than take the easy way out.
Three years and a new iPhone, Macbook Pro (with two corresponding dongles), Magic Mouse 2, iPad and Apple Watch later (please don't call me on the phone - they all ring concurrently), I was still proud of myself for not being suckered into Apple's game. My wires were still intact as I headed to the gym. I had been on the fence about buying Airpods here and there - I mean, wireless headphones are just so convenient - but I had talked myself out of it. I opened Spotify (I wasn't fully on the Apple diet just yet) and queued up Fiona Apple. As I was untangling my headphones walking into the weight room, the wires were being particularly unruly. I was so absorbed that I walked into the mirror next to the weight room. That was the final straw. After a quick set, I pulled out my phone and ordered a pair of Airpods on two-day Prime Delivery.
Rage set in as I had truly processed what I had done, and then shame washed over me. Four years of solid ranting down the drain, and for what? Because I was sick of untangling wires? My heart sank as the sunk-cost of the past four years hit me, and it fell even further when I realized that the only thing I was upset about was the fact that I took so long to buy wireless headphones. No longer am I 'on the Apple ecosystem' - I am Apple, period. I hate myself.